listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
