Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
