Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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