I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
