Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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