Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
