At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you never un-have a 4some
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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