I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
be right there i have to get my cape
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
