Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
