I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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