hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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