I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The uberlube is also flammable
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
