Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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