So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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