PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
