the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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