the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He? As in you personified your dick?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
