Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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