Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
