Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
