So drunk, too bad you don't want this
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
