i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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