We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
