But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
