There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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