I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Who died my cat blue again?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
