party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
