I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
