Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
