My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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