So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
