she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just made out with a guy for $7.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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