I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm both gender and math confused
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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