Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
