I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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