Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
