Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
