I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
