I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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