maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
