no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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