I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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