I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
