I look better un-naked...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
