I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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