ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
