I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
