Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
