he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
