I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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