I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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